Some advice…
Since all of you are so wise and so smart, I thought I’d ask for some serious advice today.
See, there’s a slightly sticky situation that I’ve been thinking about and am not really sure how to approach.
I work at a small college in an old and charming building, and my department shares a hallway with 2 other departments. I work with some fabulous and sweet people but, even though I see and say hi to the majority of them every single week day, I wouldn’t say that I’m close with most of them. And that brings me to the sticky situation. One of these sweet individuals has been losing a drastic amount of weight. In the beginning of her weight loss, she looked great. But then, I began to see the warning signs of anorexia. Her clothes hang off her body. Her hair is thin and wispy. She is nothing but skin and bones.
Being someone in recovery from anorexia, I, of course, am longing to help her. But I do realize that it might seem inappropriate to her, especially since I don’t know her very well. I also realize that she may resent me and deny that anything is wrong. Yet at the same time, if I don’t say something, who will? Maybe she needs someone’s support—someone who won’t judge her and who will actually be able to assist her in finding the help she needs.
I am leaning on the side of saying something to her but was curious to know what you would do in this situation? And how you would go about it? Is it unprofessional or necessary?
Xo.
This is tricky but I would say something. When I was struggling I really wanted someone to reach out to me yet the vast majority of people were silent. Have you also observed her eating habits or the way she talks about food? I would observe these behaviors too and then if signs align with your gut feeling, speak to her.
This is a very tricky situation, especially as you work with the girl and run the risk of offending or angering the person if a) she hasn’t got a problem (illness?) or b) she does but either hasn’t come to terms with it, is denying it or simply thinks you’re crossing a line.
I would say trust your gut feeling, but perhaps keep an eye out for her for a couple of weeks to help you decide how to play it.
Do you have someone at work you can talk to about this? Or a counsellor who works there who would be qualified to approach the subject? Perhaps a more general concern that this girl doesn’t look well and you’re worried your ill.
I know you’re a caring girl and you shouldn’t do nothing, it’s better to be wrong and told off than be aware and not do anything. It may not be your place to actually intervene, but you could alert an appropriate person to help instead?
But like Brittnie says, so often we wait for someone to reach out, and no one does, so we don’t ask for help. So watch and wait, be very careful but do do something if you feel strongly that your right.
good luck whatever you do xxx
Thank you Brittnie and Catherine! I definitely think I’ll follow your advice and wait a week or two in order to evaluate. Xo.