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The ED past.

January 29, 2010

Hello love doves!

It’s truly amazing the difference a little sleep/a day can make. I feel much more cheerful today than I did yesterday. 

Hope everyone else who was struggling is feeling better, too. 

Last night at my zumba class, I had 60 people attend. 60! Isn’t that incredible? It was such a fun and upbeat class. I was in love; I hope every class can have so much energy. 

Once I got home, I decided to whip up a fantastic dinner. Fajitas were on the menu, and they turned out perfectly. 

I cooked some chicken, red pepper, green pepper, onion, and fajita seasoning in a pan, and then I added a nice dash of garlic, red pepper, and hot sauce for some extra kick. 

 

I put the mixture into corn shells for Dennis, and I had some of it in a whole wheat tortilla.

I then topped it with avocado, reduced fat cheese, and romaine.

This dinner was drool-worthy good.

I also had a pear and a bite or two of a three muskateers bar for dessert. Yum. 

In addition to my excellent dinner, I wanted to share an interesting thing that happened to me the other day. I was having a conversation with one of my student workers who is now a senior. She was talking about an awesome book she just read and asked me if I had ever read it. She was talking about Crystal Renn’s book, Hungry, and she said it was a very inspiring and amazing read. We were talking a bit more, and it just sort of seemed appropriate in the conversation to mention that I had experienced an eating disorder for seven years of my life. She then confessed that she had been anorexic in middle school. It was so strange because I would never have guessed that she had once had an eating disorder.

I know that seems like an odd statement, but it sort of just showed me that an eating disorder can be a part of one’s past. Since so many people in my life know that I was once ill, they’re very careful with me  and try not to bring up conversations about weight, food, etc. I never really thought about it until the other day, but strangers or people I didn’t know a year or so ago don’t know that part of my life. And that’s kind of a nice thing. It feels refreshing.

To be honest, I always struggle with the fact that people who see me now will think, “wow, she gained weight.” My fears are usually assuaged when a person says, “you look so good- really happy and healthy.” It’s sort of their way of telling me that I didn’t look so good scrawny skinny. Because as much as I thought no one knew how sick I was, I look back at pictures, and I know I was wrong. It was pretty obvious. I looked emaciated. 

Being a healthy weight now, I feel pretty comfortable in certain situations speaking about my eating disorder. I think it’s important to be open about it because you never know if you can help a person or not. You might be in a conversation with someone who is struggling, and you can help them profoundly by just talking about it. That’s why I love this blog and being able to share my story with people who might need help. 

But I’m curious, do you talk openly about your eating disorder and recovery with others or do you only talk to the people closest to you about it? Besides this blog, I find that I don’t talk too often about it with strangers. But the times that I have, I have been very thankful that I did.

Sorry for such a deep post on a Friday morning, but I think it’s a very important topic. 

Hope you have a fabulous day!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth) permalink
    January 29, 2010 6:30 pm

    beautifl post – it must be nice to connect with someone about something on a another level, if u know what i mean? haha. i don’t usually bring it up but if it does ocme up i love talking about it!

    xoxo
    shelley
    http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com

  2. January 29, 2010 6:55 pm

    Very few people in my life know about my ED past, which I like because I don’t want to be defined by that time period. If asked, however, I don’t mind talking about it – I think you’re right that you may be able to help someone by sharing.

  3. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce permalink
    January 30, 2010 12:10 am

    interesting convo with the student teacher, and great how you have evolved and it’s no longer a defining thing about you! i NEVER talk about my ED except with my therapist and on my blog. and even with my therapist, he has to push me to talk about it bc i just find it really difficult. when i was anorexic it was obvious, but i found that most people avoided talking about my appearance like the plague. the ones who did confront me about it i treated horribly, or just denied denied denied that there was a problem.. i hope that one day i’ll be comfortable to talk about it with the right people!

  4. January 31, 2010 2:01 am

    Neat conversation with the student worker!! I have heard of that book! It sounds good.

    60 people? That’s amazing!!
    <3 jess
    xoxo

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